100 days of practice - week 6
This was the week of my first assessment at school. What a terrible way to measure your worth as a musician.
Monday - day 34
Played the first part of my kid-year exam, the first two movements of a Beethoven Quartet. We were so connected as a group and had such a great time playing, met with a cold “thank you” and lack of applause or other acknowledgement of our performance at the end. But as a quartet we were fizzing, and felt pretty good.
Tuesday - day 35
Still sick, still low energy, rehearsed with both my quartets.
Wednesday - day 36
I realised that what last week was an intentional reframe and search for ease had slipped into falling off track with this project on Monday and Tuesday. I understand why - I had an assessment on Monday and I’m still sick, but on Tuesday I really started to miss my old routine.
I’m going to really really really commit to quality of practice. More thinking than playing, giving myself specific instructions, recording myself, all the practice tools I know work.
To be totally honest: I spent most of the day frustrated that I haven’t found more time for practice. Being sick, I’ve felt quite stagnant. I’m craving growth. When I’m fully recovered it’s time to push.
Thursday - day 37
FINALLY sinking into the sort of practice I love. Simply put - asking myself what my ideal is. Ideally, how would this sound, look, feel? Got a good hour and a half in before my second chamber assessment (the last two movements of the Beethoven we started on Monday).
Stopped to feel the accomplishment of finishing my first assessments as part of my Master’s.
Friday - day 38
Road trip to Ardrishaig! A tiny town where one of my quartets played a full lunchtime concert - two entire string quartets, Haydn and Dvorak. It was a beautiful sunny day and we went for a walk as a quartet and with Clarke and my parents, and other quartet member’s family. We were in beautiful countryside, away from school, and I felt elated at finishing a really good performance and feeling really connected to the people I was with. Life is good.
Saturday - day 39
Day off after performing 3 full quartets in one week. Spent time with family.
Sunday - day 40
Got my grade and feedback for my assessment and was disappointed. I thought we played so well as a quartet, and that I played well individually, too, but my grade wasn’t as high as I would have liked. The feedback was picky and critical, which will be helpful soon but for now is a little sore. I had 15 minutes of disappointment and then resolved to not care anymore. I spent SO much of my undergrad agonising over grades, and then spent the years since then knowing that it all turned out okay. I’m lucky to have had a week of wins - I got into an exciting programme I was hoping for, and had an amazing time performing with two different string quartets, and performed 3 quartets to a really high standard. I had such a great time in Ardrishaig, and that feeling was strong enough to overpower the disappointment of a low grade.
Anyway, milestones. I’ve finished my first assessment of my Master’s and I’ve excelled in the things that are really important to me (connecting with others, bringing joy through music). I’m starting to have some exciting plans for the future and I’ve spent lovely time with my parents. I’m finally through my cold. Maybe this week will be the week I finally find a routine for some deep practice! I’m preparing for some orchestra projects next, and a couple recording sessions I’ve booked myself for my solo repertoire. It feels like the start of a new season.
