100 days of practice - week 11
This week, some big themes were community vs competition. On tuesday night I went to a gig and it reminded me of the inspiration and joy in music. I realised I’ve been through all of these problems before - burn out, disenchantment with institutions/the flaws of classical music, the constant insecurity of being a student, competition, being graded, etc etc. And I KNOW how to deal with it - and am.
It was strings festival week last week, and generally an extremely busy time. My week involved:
Monday - lunchtime concert, a piece with minimal rehearsal but good fun
Tuesday - the student led concert, we played a piece by one of the teachers at RCS, organised and run in secret by students as a surprise
Wednesday - two masterclasses, one with my quartet, one with a violist
Thursday - the final concert for my cross-genre class.
Friday - a normal busy school day but nothing out of the ordinary
Saturday - full day off (SO bliss)
Sunday - an audition for a summer festival and a Benedetti foundation conference day
Monday (I’m writing this late) - first day of my BBCSSO placement and our quartet audition for the Cavatina chamber competition.
I’ve been reflecting a lot this week on community - despite enjoying all of the opportunities I’ve taken part in last week I’ve been lacking a sense of community. I performed lots but rarely interacted with any audience members, and because all my peers are so busy we didn’t have many chances to celebrate a performance. My favourite performance of the week was the student led concert - though it was a volunteer gig, which, to be honest, I didn’t expect to be a high priority, it ended up being one of the things I felt most invested in and enjoyed the performance of the most. Playing something by a composer we knew, with other students, in a student led concert was the closest community feeling I came to this week. The rest of the week I really felt the effects of doing so many performances that are auditions, competitions, assessments, or even masterclasses where there is an expectation to perform a certain way, rather than just sharing a gift between audience and performer.
These thoughts and feelings, negative and positive, have really reinforced what music making I enjoy most - genuine collaboration and something that strengthens community relationships. I went to the Glasgow Zine Library with Clarke and so enjoyed being in a community space. Isn’t it so strange that we are so used to libraries and art galleries being free public places but we don’t really have things like that for classical music? This week made me realise that classical music accessibility etc etc isn’t just for the audience - it’s so important to performers as well.
On Sunday I went to a Benedetti Foundation Ambassador Day with guest speakers, including Nicola Benedetti herself. It ended up being a really amazing experience - I really like the way she thinks and talks about music and it really resonated with me. She talked about how, when starting the foundation it was really important to her to uplift the work already happening in communities she was working with. She talked about compromising, and learning to really listen, and it was inspiring and thought provoking in this context of thinking about community in music and performance. Food for thought!
Anyway my thoughts feel very muddled and I’m struggling to articulate them because it’s been a big week and I haven’t really figured it all out yet. Up next, I’m in my BBCSSO mentorship scheme for the rest of the week, and then next week going to the Isle of Mull for a quartet residency! Always learning and loving and living. Thanks for reading xxx
