Gigs wrapped (2022)
Happy 2023 whānau! It’s been a hot min since I’ve done anything on here, I’ve been busy making music and never wanted this space to be too much pressure for me, so I took a break. I make no promises for the quality or quantity of content, but I look forward to whatever 2023 holds.
This is a list of my favourite musical experiences as a performer from 2022. I learned a lot last year, and my relationship with music changed so much for the better. I got to do so many cool things and played with people I love and admire a lot. In November I quit my full time job (and moved part time) so I could pursue music more, finally feeling ready to throw myself into it. This year looks uncertain and exciting, and I can’t wait to see what projects I get to be a part of!
Pōneke Sessions - Poetry + classical music
The idea for this session (courtesy of Leah Thomas and Ben Ashby) came off the back of the play Pōneke sessions did in collaboration with Long Cloud theater last year. This was a stunning way to kick off my year of gigs. Playing music alongside poetry has genuinely completely changed my understanding of music as a story-telling device. I played a relatively technically complex piece for this - something from my final end of year recital at uni - and it completely reframed the music for me. The story told wasn’t just the music and wasn’t just the poem, it was creating something entirely new in the moment. It also completely shook my performance anxiety, because instead of focussing on getting the notes right, I was focussed on the story we were telling. I would really, really recommend to all musicians that you try:
Writing a poem to go with a piece you are learning or performing, finding words to go with the music
Finding a friend who would be happy to write something or who will read a pre-existing poem and play while they read.
The meeting of different forms of art ended up being a huge theme in 2022, and played a major role in finding the feeling of creativity and freedom in classical music.
NZSO - Don Juan
Complete 180 lol, I wrote about this earlier this year but this was my first time getting back into consistent, intensive practice, and being back in a truly classical music focussed space. I was so nervous to go play with the NZSO, but I showed up anyway, and I felt so strong and confident. It was also my first time playing Don Juan, a notoriously difficult piece of music often required in auditions. I had spent countless hours trying to learn excerpts from this piece during my time at uni, and there was something symbolic about playing it in a professional setting the year after I left music school. It was like reclaiming the space and music, and that really restored my confidence as a musician.
Classical on Cuba - Hip hop and strings
This was lit, and probably one of my top gigs of all time. I played with musicians who I look up to so much, including three of my best friends. I went through my uni years going to gigs at the Rogue and Vagabond, the local music hot spot in Wellington, and I never imagined I would play a sold out hip hop gig there. Another big shoutout to Leah Thomas for having this idea and the connections to make this happen. I think we all were fizzing throughout the whole process and the enthusiasm, passion, and excitement was so inspiring. Playing with people who love what they do feels good. This gig made me realise that there are opportunities for this sort of music making and that this is what I want to do more of in the future.
Cinderella
This was ballet that Orchestra Wellington and the Royal NZ Ballet did this year. This was important to me because it was the first time (to my knowledge) playing a piece of orchestral music composed by a queer female composer. The ballet featured a kiss between two men - and this queer representation in the ballet was so special and made me cry every time we played the music. This experience healed some part of my inner child I reckon, and made me realise just how much representation in my art form means.
Gallery Orchestra
Woah, shoutout to Leah Thomas again? Gallery Orchestra is a new orchestra that Leah started and it is basically all my friends playing only cool music + cool collabs. My parents came and I got to play in an orchestra with Clarke, my boyfriend, and playing with people you love is special. That’s all the insight I have on that.
Orchestra Wellington and New Zealand Symphony Orchestra auditions
Mmmmmmm not really a gig but a huge thing in my development as a musician. In October and November I did two orchestral auditions. Auditions come with a lot of baggage for us classical kids. I am really proud of myself for the way I approached these auditions. Most importantly, I was keeping tabs on my emotional wellbeing the entire time. I gave myself realistic practice goals, I journaled a lot about the feelings that I had, I made sure I gave myself breaks, I prioritised eating and sleeping well over practice, and I was kind and generous to myself. Secondly, I practiced really well and methodically, and it was really really cool to utilise all of the practice techniques I had learnt while I was studying (I taught myself a lot of these, but I also felt very grateful to the teachers I’ve had over the years, especially the New Zealand String Quartet). One of these auditions was successful and I have a trial with Orchestra Wellington next year, and the NZSO one was unsuccessful, which is totally all good. I really enjoyed the process and it was so beneficial for my own development.
Recording Leah’s master’s audition
also not a gig! But we played the Brahms clarinet quintet that we had learned in uni. Coming back to something with the same group of friends, after going through so much together and becoming so close was a truly special feeling. The music felt like it had grown with us. Lots of things felt like they came together - our technique and musicianship has improved, we’ve grown closer as friends, and we have come so far as people and musicians. We were ready to pour our heart and soul into it and it was kinda magic <3
Kristallnacht concert
Every year the Holocaust Centre put on a Holocaust memorial concert, and this year it was dedicated to the Women’s orchestra of Aushwitz. The ensemble was entirely female and told the story of Alma Rose, who lead the Women’s orchestra of Aushwitz. This concert was one of the most thought-provoking concerts I’ve done.
This concert and the storytelling has completely changed my way of thinking about a piece of music’s history. The programme was really famous pieces, things like Bach’s concerto for two violins and the Danube Waltz, pieces I have heard and played many times. Thinking of the history of these pieces as the times and contexts they were played in, such as in a concentration camp during the Holocaust was so different to the way we usually frame music history. Bach’s double concerto was a big part of my childhood growing up learning Suzuki violin. I learnt it when I was about 10 and played it with my friends every year at summer camps, but playing it in this concert was a new and different experience. It added a new page to my personal history with the piece. I’ve been thinking about pieces that previously had uninspiring histories to me, mostly pieces by dead white male composers. The Brahms clarinet quintet that I play with my best friends in the Gemini quintet, for example, does not have a particularly inspiring history when looking at Brahms (I think Brahms is kinda weird and creepy), but it has a really special place in my heart because of my own history with it. It’s made me realise that there is beauty in playing these pieces again and again, with different people in different contexts. Playing Don Juan with the NZSO this year added to my history with that piece, playing a piece from my recital with poetry changed that piece’s history. We get to take these pieces that are loved and known by many and add layers and layers - and when played with love and joy and deep emotion we can make them into a really beautiful experience.
NZSO Mana Moana
Simply the best vibe of any concert I’ve done. The concert was sold out, and the audience was almost entirely Pasifika - which is very unusual for a concert in the Michael Fowler Centre where the NZSO is performing :) The music was so much fun, the soloists were incredible, I almost cried many times, and then at the end the applause and standing ovation was just so heartwarming. The audience sang to the performers and I could barely keep the tears in (I knew once I started I would not stop.) I have spent a lot of time in the past couple years very grumpy with some of the attitudes in the classical music scene - the racism and sexism is exhausting. But seeing an entire audience of people who were proud of their friends and whanau performing, proud of where they come from, and so open with so much love to give, brought together by music just made me so happy to be a musician. I hope that I get to have more experiences like that, and I hope others do too. We all deserve to feel love for the things we create, and to receive love back.
