A punch is just a punch
Welcome back to Live Laugh Lemon! I was recently at a gig that reminded me that it’s worth making art just because you want to, and reminded me of this space I created for exactly that.
A punch is just a punch - thank you to Hayden who introduced this concept to me in a video call the other day. When you’re a beginner, you throw a punch without thinking too much. The punch is just a punch. Then you begin to learn the technique of martial arts - you learn about the way your feet move and how you get power from your feet through your hips and all the details of what makes a punch a good punch. Then this all becomes absorbed into your body through practice and a punch is just a punch.
Why am I not punching with conviction?
In my last lesson my teacher told me I need to commit to the music more, play with more conviction. In this particular instance the music was angry and dramatic, Hindemith’s Solo viola sonata, op 25 no 1. I don’t expect you to know it, or to listen to it, but just know that it was written in Germany in 1922 (post WWI defeat) and is angsty, angry, ugly, anxious, etc. I’ve heard iterations of this advice my whole musical life, that I need to “go for it more” “commit to the character” “play it like you mean it”. I find it incredibly frustrating. My teacher pointed out that, when pushed, I am capable of playing with conviction, so the question we both left with was why don’t I?
A few days later, I played for a friend. He said something along the lines of “that was very clean, and your tone is nice and warm, but can you play with more….” and because I’m used to this, I finished his sentence - “conviction?”. His suggestion was a new idea though - he asked me what character traits I associate with the music, and called me out for naming traits I don’t identify with, like arrogance, pride, and ego. The ideas I had about the music were not ideas I connect with.
Why throw the punch in the first place?
I realised that my cynicism and dislike for what a lot of classical music stands for holds me back from committing to the music. There’s a part of me that resists - who’s Strauss or Hindemith to tell me what to do? All the chat in the classical music world that says you have to be obsessed with the score and follow the composer’s every intention, pushes me further away. However, here I am studying a Master’s in classical performance, so I have to learn to punch.
The government in New Zealand are trying to take away the rights of Māori. Donald Trump is president of the USA. Palestine has been suffering through genocide for over a year. There is war in Ukraine. The list goes on and on. There are a lot of bad things happening in the world right now and I know that it is an insane privilege to be grappling with how to be good at playing classical music, dedicating a lot of time and money to mastering this art form. I also know that when bad things happen in the world, it is a powerful thing to make art. And, despite it’s flaws, classical music is my artistic language. When making art, it is the voice that I have. We’re talking about conviction when it comes to anger and grief? There’s a lot to be angry about, and there’s a lot to grieve. I have a lot of reasons to throw this punch.
Punch = impact = art
Different artists will have their own opinions about this (I’d be interested to hear yours) but what if, rather than try and get myself all riled up about the hypothetical of being a German man in 1922, I tap into the real, tangible inspirations I see in my every day life. I’ve turned now, instead to the power of Hana-Rāwhiti Maipi-Clarke starting a Haka in parliament, or channeling the energy in the room at an Avantdale Bowling Club show. Both of these examples not only have the conviction, but the mastery of control of technique. They know how to punch. I think about the twisted knot of frustration, anger, grief and mourning I feel when I watch the genocide in Palestine through Instagram reels. I think about the times I want to yell and punch and be angry and loud and violent, and the way we (especially women) are taught to suppress those impulses.
That’s why we make art/that’s why we throw the punch.
